My very first poem I’d ever published online! I had written it (in only 15 minutes!) to be posted onto my once-anonymous account @HostileGospel on Mirakee only at first, then eventually onto Instagram as well.
I truly believe that I have written my way out of hell.. and this poem especially, as well as a lot more that I have to post later on are my proof! Soon you will see why I believe this!
I have always loved to write. I have been journaling for over 8 years almost every day. I find it helps to use my words to express the mixed up emotions I feel at times and to organize or collect my thoughts.
I used to prefer drawing and painting over writing until some time ago I realized I was no longer getting that sense of pride from creating my visual art that I once had. I was never happy with the end result- I didn’t want to claim it as my own. I would often try to correct the “mistakes” and would end up only making it worse. I would overthink, not settling for anything less than perfect, Thereby taking away the element of creative passion which meant there was no point.
But once I began focusing on my poems I found the outlet I needed. I can write and tweak my poems 1,000 times and it still remains the same poem, it never ruins it, or if I think it does I just go back and undo my editing to the original version. I have most of my poems memorized by heart from as many times as I have read and re-read them, seeking out the best flow of words. It goes without saying but I take great pride in my poetry!
I believe that my lifelong struggles with addiction and mental health- with such issues as anxiety, depression and PTSD- have all played a critical role in helping to shape me into the person I am today. Even though it hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows, living through the dark times will truly help you to appreciate the light.
Here is some more poetry..
Below: the first time that I have ever used the words from my chest piece (a song lyric by: Alice In Chains) and incorporated it into one of my poems